How to Become A Conscious Parent
Conscious parenting is a process, it takes time. There is no quick fix. It isn’t a strategy to control your child’s behaviour but instead a way of ‘being’. With more empathy, peace, respect for the child. Maybe you have heard about conscious parenting and you are wondering “How can I become a conscious parent?”
There can be confusion when first embarking on this path of conscious parenting so I’ve listed some of the things that can help you. start your journey.
1. Reading books Seek out books on peaceful/gentle parenting. I personally would start with Dr Shefali Tsabary the conscious parent and the awakened family. It’s through reading books that your mind will be transformed and eyes opened with new insights. You can see all my favourite conscious parenting books by clicking here:
2. See a therapist – if you have the resources and privilege to be able to see a therapist make this a priority. Therapists have the skill set that we wish our parents had. They are often to hold safe space for our feelings – validating our feelings. They actively listen without judging or interrupting. They are skilled in attuning to their client and they can be that one consistent person in your life who you feel safe with. Not only will they help you but they will also model to you skills you can learn with your children.
3. Journal – this is where I first began back in 2015 when I discovered conscious parenting. I would daily write observations with my kids. What went well, what didn’t? How was I feeling? When did I become triggered? What was the energy of the family etc. I started to see patterns which helped me know where to focus creating changes in my parenting.
4. Become a learner – if you acknowledge there’s things you don’t know then it makes sense to go and learn. In conscious parenting it is valuable to learn everything from attachment theory, brain science and development to the art of communication. There’s nothing you can’t learn no matter how old you are.
5. Move your body – being conscious is to be present and many of us are disconnected from our bodies. Have a conscious movement practice is extremely beneficial and also gets us out of our heads and into our bodies. My favourite is dancing with my daughters – they are great at contemporary dance and teach me how to ‘just be’.
6. Allow your child to be your greatest teacher – look at the mirror which they hold up and allow “triggers” to be teaching moments. So much can be learnt by being present and attuned with our children
“This process is worth it. I thought of it as an investment in myself and my family’s future, and my goal was simply to be a better parent, and I just didn’t have the skills, and this process provides that. The time investment is worth it, because you really get to work on the process, you get to explore your inner workings, you learn new skills. I would say if you feel called to do this process, there is a reason for that and I do not think you will regret it.” – Izzy. Washington.