Parent Case Study
Unlocking Joyful Connections: The Power of Transformational Parenting Support
Transformational parenting support empowers parents to build deeper connections with their children while overcoming personal challenges. Through tailored guidance, parents can explore their limiting beliefs, enhance emotional awareness, and foster joyful interactions within the family. Discover how this supportive approach can transform your parenting journey, helping you cultivate a nurturing and authentic environment for your children.
Initial Enquiry: Stay-at-Home Mum Seeking Transformational Parenting Support for Connection and Presence with Her Two Young Children
1. Where Were You in Your Parenting Before Working with Fiona?
Before working with Fiona, I felt constantly anxious and disconnected. Despite reading numerous parenting books and completing a Positive Parenting course, I was stuck in an intellectual mindset. Although my household functioned relatively well, I longed for genuine authenticity. My upbringing, while seemingly good on the surface, lacked true connection; my parents accepted me only for my achievements. This left me feeling floaty and often seeking distraction on my phone.
2. What Made You Realise You Needed Additional Support in Your Parenting?
Parenting my first child was particularly challenging. I experienced overwhelming emotions, feeling almost stabbed when he cried and boiling with rage when he got angry. This anxiety stemmed from my fears that he would struggle as I had. The tipping point came in December 2020 when my child’s school closed again due to COVID-19. Although my kids were generally happy, I felt an intense dread at the thought of spending more time alone with them. This led to physical symptoms like IBS and back pain, making me realize that the real issue was my discomfort in simply being present. Reading Dr. Shefali’s The Conscious Parent prompted me to seek out a conscious parenting coach.
3. How Did You Initially Find the 10-Week Process?
Initially, some aspects of the course felt unconventional to me. I had heard of inner child meditation but had never considered it seriously. I now recognise that my cynicism was a defense mechanism, but it only perpetuated my anxiety. As I opened myself up to new ideas, I began to gain deeper insights into my emotions and behaviours.
4. What Was Fiona Like as Your Coach?
Fiona was nothing short of fantastic. After spending four years with five different psychotherapists, I often felt underwhelmed and made little progress. From our first session, Fiona offered insights that resonated deeply. She mentioned that “talking too much can be a trauma response to not being listened to,” which made perfect sense to me. Unlike previous therapists, Fiona focused not just on talking but also on grounding myself in my body. I realised that much of my work needed to centre on releasing the stress and negative patterns my body had stored.
Fiona’s listening skills were exceptional; she asked the right questions at the right moments, helping me explore my thoughts and feelings without making assumptions. Her belief in conscious parenting was evident, and her extensive reading list provided valuable resources that helped me connect the dots in my own life.
5. What Was Your Biggest Breakthrough?
It’s tough to pinpoint a single breakthrough because I experienced many. I often felt like a “bad detective” in my own life, but through Fiona’s guidance, I began to uncover long-hidden truths. Early on, I realized that my mother likely has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which reframed my understanding of my family dynamics.
I also discovered that I might have ADD (ADHD Inattentive), clarifying many of my past struggles and limiting beliefs. Additionally, I began to recognize my tendency to seek comfort in feelings of dread—an addiction to cortisol, dopamine, and adrenaline.
Perhaps most significantly, I unearthed a sense of my true self, allowing me to access an inner voice that provides reassurance. I learned that my anxiety, which I had long viewed negatively, was actually trying to keep me safe.
My emotional literacy expanded beyond just feeling sad, happy, or angry. I acknowledged that my childhood, while not violent, was filled with a subtle trauma of not being seen or heard for my authentic self. This realisation helped me understand the negative patterns I had internalised, including the way I had been breathing—wrongly—due to this unresolved trauma.
6. How Would You Describe Yourself as a Parent Now?
I approach parenting with far less concern for what my parents or anyone else thinks. This shift means I encourage my children to express their emotions freely. I tell them, “If you’re sad or angry, it’s okay to cry or stomp; let those feelings out.”
I’m also more mindful of my own anger. Rather than reacting impulsively, I pause to reflect on the beliefs behind my anger—often rooted in the idea that “I can’t manage practical or organizational tasks well.” This awareness has allowed me to respond more consciously, fostering a healthier environment for my children.
7. Would You Recommend the 10-Week Process to Friends and Family?
Absolutely, I would recommend it wholeheartedly.
8. What Would You Say to Someone Sitting on the Fence About This Process?
This journey has been transformative—perhaps the best decision I’ve ever made. It has opened up so many aspects of my life and made me feel like a completely different person.
As I continue down this path of conscious parenting and authenticity, I’m increasingly optimistic about fostering genuine connections with my boys as they grow into adulthood.
Having spent a decade as a secondary school teacher, I’ve seen the vast spectrum of family dynamics. During parents’ evenings, I often encountered the same patterns: 90% of families were either exasperated or anxious, failing to truly see or listen to one another. Only 10% demonstrated genuine respect and understanding. I aspire to be part of that 10%, and I hope that by the time my kids reach their teenage years, that percentage will grow as more parents become aware and conscious in their parenting.
9. What Does Your Family Look Like Now, After the Process?
Our family dynamic has become more flexible and resilient. If things don’t go as planned, I’m now open to adjusting or even scrapping the plan for our collective well-being. In the past, I would have pushed through, ignoring the toll it took on both myself and my kids.
The biggest change has been within me, which has positively impacted everything else. Our home feels like a space where everyone’s needs are acknowledged. I recognize that at their core, my children are loving beings, and when they misbehave or express anger, it often stems from unmet needs. This understanding has transformed our interactions and strengthened our connections.
What We Worked On: Transforming Parenting Through Connection
When this parent first reached out, it was clear she had already engaged in significant inner work. She had read extensively and intellectually grasped many concepts, but what she needed was one-on-one support to truly be seen and heard.
Throughout our sessions, we explored how her childhood experiences shaped her current relationships, particularly the lack of a close, connected bond with her own parents. Together, we identified her limiting beliefs and how they interfered with her ability to connect with her sons. Over time, she learned to recognize her coping mechanisms and how they hindered her presence.
With a strong commitment to the process, she diligently attended each session, embraced weekly assignments, and explored new reading materials. Now, her primary focus is on cultivating joy—she’s embracing more social interactions, singing, dancing, and creating deeper connections with her partner and children!
“I’m some what amazed. I did cumulatively 4 years of therapy and made very little progress. I feel I made revelation after revelation and made huge progress in such a short amount of time.”
Ready to Transform Your Parenting Journey?
If you're a parent feeling disconnected and seeking support, let's work together to foster deeper connections with your children. Embrace a more present and joyful parenting experience today! Contact us now to start your transformational journey.
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