2. Help them understand the difference between a feeling and a story/perception.
There’s a clear difference between feelings and perceptions. When we are listening to our children we want to give them space to speak but not be fully drawn into their story so we can get to the root of what they could be feeling.
Some examples so you can see the difference between feelings and perceptions are listed here:
“I feel like my class mates don’t like me.” – This is a perception not a feeling. This is where a child is perceiving others don’t like them – this isn’t necessarily the truth. A feeling will always be true to the child.
So with a statement like this you would still want to find out what the feeling is. How would a child who has a perception that their class mates don’t like them be feeling? Lonely? Angry? Sad?
“I feel sad when no one plays with me.”
This is a feeling. It’s an “I” statement and the child is letting you know how they feel when no one plays with them.