How to Become a Conscious Parent
Embracing Conscious Parenting
Conscious parenting emphasises self-awareness and intentional engagement with your children. It involves deeply connecting with the child in front of you, rather than the idealised version you may envision. This approach requires parents to set aside their egos, expectations, and burdens, allowing children to express their authentic selves.
The concept gained prominence through Dr. Shefali Tsabary, a world-renowned clinical psychologist, during her appearance on the Oprah show to discuss her book, The Conscious Parent.
Looking Beyond Behaviour
This parenting style encourages you to look beyond a child’s behaviour to address their fundamental needs for connection, self-regulation, and emotional support.
What It Isn’t
Mindful parenting is not a specific method or strategy; it is a mindset. It requires parents to reflect on their own upbringing and recognise patterns they may be repeating. Many parents unconsciously project their beliefs and goals onto their children, stifling individuality and creating undue pressure.
Essential Elements of Mindful Parenting
- Separate Identity: Recognise your child as a distinct individual, not a “mini me.”
- Emotional Attunement: Be attuned to your child’s feelings, understanding that behaviours often stem from deeper emotions.
- Responsive Approach: Strive to respond to your child’s needs rather than react impulsively.
- Self-Care: Prioritise your own emotional health to effectively support your child’s feelings.
- Healthy Boundaries: Set loving and respectful boundaries.
- Developmental Awareness: Understand your child’s developmental stage and establish age-appropriate rules and expectations.
- Emotional Presence: Engage fully with your child, both physically and emotionally.
- Validation of Feelings: Allow space for your child’s feelings and validate their experiences.
- Emotional Awareness: Be mindful of your own emotions during conflicts.
Advantages of Conscious Parenting
Children raised in this environment experience unconditional love, acceptance, and respect. They feel seen, heard, validated, and understood, which fosters emotional resilience and better coping skills.
This mindful approach leads to reduced stress, a stronger bond with parents, and a safe space for growth and learning. It also requires significant self-reflection, helping parents recognise that their triggers often relate to their own unmet emotional needs from childhood.
“This process is worth it. I thought of it as an investment in myself and my family’s future, and my goal was simply to be a better parent, and I just didn’t have the skills, and this process provides that. The time investment is worth it, because you really get to work on the process, you get to explore your inner workings, you learn new skills. I would say if you feel called to do this process, there is a reason for that and I do not think you will regret it.” – Izzy. Washington.